De wetten van Murphy

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  1. Murphy's General Law

    1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
    2. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
    3. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
    4. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
    5. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
    6. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    7. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
    8. Mother nature is a bitch.
    9. Things get worse under pressure.
    10. Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
    11. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
    12. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
    13. When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
    14. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
    15. Everything takes longer than you think.
    16. The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

  2. Murphy's Love Law

    1. All the good ones are taken.
    2. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
    3. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
    4. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero.
    5. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
    6. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
    7. Nice guys (girls) finish last. The good ones die first.
    8. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
    9. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
    10. Nothing improves with age.
    11. Sex has no calories.
    12. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
    13. Virginity can be cured.
    14. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
    15. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
    16. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
    17. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
    18. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

  3. Murphy's Computer Law

    1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
    2. Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
    3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented
    4. Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
    5. The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
    6. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
    7. Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
    8. The subtilest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
    9. A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.
    10. A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
    11. A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.
    12. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
    13. The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.
    14. A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
    15. No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
    16. Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.
    17. When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.
    18. If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.
    19. If such a program has not crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.
    20. No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.
    21. All components become obsolete. The speed with which components become obsolete is directly proportional to the price of the component.
    22. It is axiomatic that any spares required will have just been discontinued and will be no longer in stock.
    23. If a circuit requires n components, then there will be only n - 1 components in locally-held stocks.
    24. A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
    25. All Constants are variable.



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